17 January 2011

Chicken Noodle Soup for the crazy sick and lazy

I'm sort of surprised that I'm still awake and coherent right now.  I've found that the best way to go to sleep when one has some horrible combination of a sinus infection and the flu is to take more cold medicine than you're supposed to.  Don't try this one at home, kids.  Colby found Nyquil pills that also contain vitamin C.  This allows me to delude myself into thinking that at least it's "healthy" to overdo the cold meds. :)  But how did I even arrive at this point?  Well, it seems the best way to explain that is through recipe.

1 week in Boston
5 beers
10 days in Michigan
1 crazy new years
1 semi-lazy 'sband (but only when it comes to cooking)
1/2 T chicken bouillon
1/2-1 week in Seattle
1/2  C cooked (mostly plain) pasta
1.5 months poor sleeping habits
1 C water

1) Combine about 2 weeks of working constantly with dangerously high levels of stress.  Let marinate.  

2) Go to Boston for a week and continue lack of sleep, high stress.  Add some (~4) beers and friends with head colds.

3) Fly back to Austin with a tickle in your throat. Begin driving to Michigan about 18 hours after your return and spend the next 10 days schlepping back and forth across the great state.  Let that tickle grow into uncontrollable coughing and yellow, um, drainage.

4) Go to Urgent Care in Lansing and get a diagnosis of sinus infection and tell the doctor what they should give you when they ask you what *you* think you should be taking for it.  Promptly forget to take the antibiotics about 2 days into a 10 day course and then abandon it completely after 4 days.

5) Come back to Austin and have a wonderful New Years celebration, drinking more than you want to remember.  Be sure that your friends fly in from all over the country, bringing whatever they happened to catch on the connections from Dallas and Los Angeles.  Also, let the cedar count be out of control in Austin.  Marinate.

6) Spend a week feverishly working on a poster for the AAS meeting.  Don't do stupid things like spend that time sleeping and trying to recover.

7) Get to Seattle, see lots of people who are generally stressed out, sleep too little, have no regard for their health (because science always comes first), and have just flown in from across the globe.  Start to feel a bit better and then have a beer.

8) Spend the next two days in a state of delirium because you've just chosen the Fight Alcohol mode rather than Fight Germs mode for your liver.  Congratulations!  On top of your sinus infection, you now have the flu.

9) Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the 'sband that can be completely competent at cooking will be making a pound of pasta to eat.  Plain. Or, perhaps with butter... because it's way too much effort to make a real meal for himself.

10) Come home and be pathetic.  Demand that 'sband stays home and takes care of you.  When that fails, place a measuring cup with water and a bowl with the noodles in the microwave.  Pull out the bowl after a minute. Turn the microwave back on and let the water continue to heat.  Dump the water in the bowl, mix in the bouillon.  Vow to never return to a winter meeting of the AAS.

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