More "Calamity" than "Kitchen"

So those other posts will be coming in the next few days or so, but I felt the need to relate this story.

Once upon a time, an incoming grad student named Julie was moving from the 15th floor to the 16th floor of RLM at the University of Texas. Julie thought she was being clever by using a rolling chair to cart her stuff onto the elevator so that she wouldn't have to make 100 trips between the floors. On her way into the elevator, Julie's cart hit a bump, which happened to be a large groove between the elevator and the 15th floor. This bump jolted the chair, sending her calculator flying off her chair NINETY DEGREES and it slipped right through that groove and fell down the f*cking elevator shaft for, oh let's say, ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY feet below. Julie sighed as she heard the somewhat familiar "clank clank" of her calculator falling; however, this time it was different. The clanking kept going and for some reason the equation mgh=1/2mv^2 kept popping into her head. Later on that day, she decided to look up on Amazon to see how much that calculator would cost and discovered, to her chagrin that it would cost around ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY dollars to replace, similar to the amount of feet that the calculator fell to its death.

The End.

Is that the best bedtime story or what? I'm refusing to acknowledge that it actually happened. Yup, my calculator is sitting in my desk at work. Yeah.